How to Get Through an Identity Crisis in College
I remember the sheer excitement of opening my acceptance letter to college. High school was great and I’ve accomplished a lot in my short 18 years — getting into the college of my dream was just another check off my list. Family members were excited as they tried to prepare me for the “best years of my life.” I have an amazing support system who helped me with my practical college needs, such as helping me rent my first apartment and buying kitchenware for all the cooking I will now have to do. That was a lie. Although I had all the tools I needed to succeed in my first year of college, no one prepared me for the mental mind f*@$ that freshman year will bring upon you.
People around me glorified my new beginnings, so naturally, I set my expectations pretty high. But when you move away for college and you put your hometown and the people you once knew behind you, your sense of identity gets left behind as well. This psychological transition is not something people discuss, and I would argue it's probably the most important thing a new college student needs to prepare for. In high school, I wore many hats. I was a dancer, track runner, class officer, senior prom queen, and a great friend to the people I loved. When I started college, my identity only had one title – student.
It wasn’t long until I began to have an identity crisis.
The students around me were joining sororities, making friends in dormitories, and finding their “home away from home.” I, however, had a much more difficult time finding my place in this big foreign place called college. I became very depressed during my first semester and the confidence I once had in high school was, slowly but surely, dissipating. I LITERALLY felt like I was disappearing. I was becoming just another face in the crowd. Going through an identity crisis at 18 years old was one of the most difficult and darkest times of my life. Now at 23 years old and a senior in college, I reflect back to that period of my life and realize it was exactly what I needed to grow into the person I am today. I am now thankful for the experience that life gave me and I wouldn’t change a single thing. Finding myself in college wasn’t easy but I persevered, and with perseverance came growth and wisdom. If you are in college going through an identity crisis, keep reading because I have a couple tips for you.
Get involved in campus activities
I once thought Greek life and sports were the only ways to get involved in an organization, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. There are clubs for almost everything. You just have to look. Do you like reading books? There’s a club for that. Do you like playing chess? There’s a club for that. Do you like outdoor activities? Yup. There’s a club for that too. You get my point. Start looking for these niche organizations and start getting involved.
Start a study group with your classmates
Be the one to initiate a study group for the students in your class. This is a great way to not only meet new people but, also, build relationships. Everyone has one goal in common — to pass the class. By helping each other in getting that “A,” you will quickly find yourself befriending your study pals outside the classroom.
Avoid being a homebody
There’s nothing wrong with "Netflix and chilling" by yourself on a Friday night, but if you want to develop friendships you HAVE to get out of your house! As an introvert, I’ve rain checked many invitations from people asking to hang out. However, I learned that friendships are just like any other relationships and you have to be proactive. Friendships only last when you continue making new experiences. So, next time you feel like staying home instead of hanging out with friends, force yourself to go.
Your vibe attracts your tribe
If you continue to be yourself and proactively do the things you enjoy, sooner or later, you WILL find “your people.” Stay true to who you are and you will attract like-minded people into your life. The energy you put out is what you receive back. It’s a universal law!
These are just a few things I wish knew earlier in my college career. I learned it the hard way, but you don’t have to. College can be scary and there will be times where you want to give up. But as many said, it can also be “the best years of your life.” You just need to pick which road you want to take.
